I sit in the retro booth of our new home. I just planted a new beautiful plant in a brand new pot for it. The pot is a dusty blue that fades to green. The plant (I should know the name but I threw out the tag) called to me for it’s orange blossoms.
It was a plant my sister had in her home that bloomed continuously for her when she was sick. She hardly cared for it, yet it was there for her.
I am surrounded by a mess of dirt. Dirty fingernails, touch a bag of potting mix that has instructions for this plants care.
Lighting. Watering. Repotting. Sounds like instructions for life to me.
Here I am 42 days into my 100 days of alcohol freedom. I start this each year of taking break, 30 at first, then 60, then 80, now 100. I may stretch it even more. I feel… good. Less heavy, more aware of my emotions, my feelings and how I communicate with others and myself.
The littlest things make me cry now. I can’t help it. My tears are constantly waiting in the background to show up. I don’t mind them anymore. I used to. I gave that up. If someone sees me crying, yay for them.
What prompted this post? Could be this plant I bought today. Could also be this sticker I received in the mail from a friend. A simple statement- “I love you”. I found myself staring at this sticker for a good minute. “I love you”
I decided to place it in a spot where I could see it often, on the back of my phone case. It made me feel so nice that someone thought to send me that. That they love me. I looked at it on my phone case and got lost in it again.
It morphed to a love letter in my mind. One that I was starting to form to myself. A reminder to love myself.
Seems easy right? We all LIKE ourselves, but do we really, really love ourselves? If we did, would we treat our minds and bodies so badly. Flippantly, and without care? Would we judge others as a reflection of our own fears of being judged? Would we live our lives in our most truthful and authentic way? It could be that this 100 day challenge has me rethinking how I treat my body, but also my mind. I blame this plant and this sticker whose three little words that got me thinking.
I stopped and sat down at the booth in front of this beautiful plant. I opened my laptop and began to write some commitments and reminders to myself in a love letter. Is this all terribly cheesy? Yes, and I am here for it. Rom coms are cheesy and I love those. This is the rom com of my life, I am just showing up for it.
“I Love You”
I love you so I will treat you kindly.
I will hold you up.
I will choose the hard things, because I know they are good for you, even if you may not know you want them.
I will encourage your deep curiosity and childlike wonder because I know these are the things that keep you young at heart.
I will help you keep two feet on the ground, but also encourage you to soar.
I love you.
I will try not to dim your light anymore. I want to see you shine.
I will remind you that you are human and doing your best.
I will be gentle with you when you throw a tantrum.
I will nourish your body and mind with things that help you grow.
I love you.
I will push you to be your best self, and at the same time accept you for who you are.
I will hold your hand when times get low.
I will surround you with good people who care about you as much as I do.
I will forgive you of your past. We all have one.
I will keep discovering what is important to you and what fulfills you. I will continue to put those things in your path.
I love you.
I will help you shine light on your shadows. I accept them and love them, because they are a part of who you are.
I will accept your imperfections as beautiful and unique to you.
I will remind you to take it easy, especially when you are feeling restless. It is alright to sit and do nothing sometimes.
I will encourage you to always stay open, truthful, and vulnerable even when it is scary. It can be a hard path that is less traveled.
I will remind you that you are your own best friend. You are not alone, I am always here for you.
I love you.
To all those reading this… Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Having a commitment to loving ourselves can sometimes be difficult without us even knowing it. Try writing a letter or poem to yourself. Read it often, believe it. Self love isn’t easy. We all come with years and years of shadows and baggage. Learn to love all of it, for it is a part of you, and there is only one of you. 🙂
This one little act of kindness and love spurred me to write this post and to take a look at my own self love. It proves that even the tiniest gift or thought can help someone so much. Thanks Becki. Reach out to someone you care about even just to say you love them and you are there to be a listening ear. You may make their day shine a little brighter.
Much love and light,
~M
On Sundays I host a pay what you can stress relief class at 8pm est online. One of the ultimate ways you can love yourself, is setting time aside to do the things that make you feel better. I would love to have you join me. It is beginner friendly and great for any age.
